Salt was once currency, which means every spill is technically a small financial crime. The old remedy: throw a pinch over your LEFT shoulder, directly into the eyes of whatever misfortune is loitering back there. Aim matters. Misfortune is short.
Frequently confessed questions
Which shoulder? Left. The right shoulder is for compliments. How much? A pinch — a handful is showing off, and misfortune respects confidence. Sea salt or table? The void does not read labels.
Season your food, then season your fate.
— Kitchen Prophecies, ch. 3
Should you spill and fail to throw, the standard penance applies: one (1) Guilt Offering, available in the gift shop, absolution shipped instantly, shaker not included.
The congregation responds