✝ Free indulgence with your first tithe ✝ Ascension shipping in 2–4 business millennia ✝ Repent responsibly ✝ New relics just dropped ✝ Salvation not guaranteed, tees are ✝ ✝ Free indulgence with your first tithe ✝ Ascension shipping in 2–4 business millennia ✝ Repent responsibly ✝ New relics just dropped ✝ Salvation not guaranteed, tees are ✝
N°01✦Vespers of Verified FactsA midweek evening liturgy. We read peer-reviewed abstracts aloud in a solemn voice until they stop sounding scary. Citations are sung responsively.July 22, 2026≈ 1 minute of your mortal time→N°02✦Evangelism Workshop: Politely Ruining a SéanceField training in kind, curious science-evangelism. Role-play scripts included. We do not debunk rudely — we debunk with snacks.July 22, 2026≈ 1 minute of your mortal time→N°03The Thirteenth: A Rite Against CoincidenceCertified cursed, statistically fine. We gather beneath the number the world fears and calmly, deliberately, do nothing bad for one full hour.July 22, 2026≈ 1 minute of your mortal time→N°04Sunday Service + Group De-BaptismThe regular service, plus an optional De-Baptism for any wishing to formally un-join a thing. A towel is provided. Unblessed grape juice follows.July 22, 2026≈ 1 minute of your mortal time→N°05✦Sunday Service of UnbeliefThe weekly rite: hymns that lovingly mock absurd beliefs, a sermon on Not Falling For It, and the passing of a real collection bucket — we…July 22, 2026≈ 1 minute of your mortal time→N°06✦Choir: Hymns of Hilarious HeresyRehearsal for Sunday’s repertoire. This week, three-part harmony on “Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Manifested.” Bring water; mockery is thirsty work.July 22, 2026≈ 1 minute of your mortal time→N°07✦Sunday Service of Unbelief IISame rite, new week, identical quantity of the supernatural (zero). Newcomers welcome, skeptics adored, casseroles blessed in the strictly metaphorical sense.July 22, 2026≈ 1 minute of your mortal time→
Thy plate is empty
A soul without relics is just a soul. Pass the plate — fill it immediately.
Thy plate is empty
