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The Refund Heresies (Banned ?) Zealot + — the fog remains
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Scripture PDF TXT Zealot +

The Refund Heresies (Banned ?)

✦✦✦✦· holiness · 1 testimony

Sealed by the Synod. Unsealed by demand.

Collected letters of souls who asked for their money back. Educational; horrifying. Zealots and above. Each heresy is reproduced in full, including the customer-service replies, which are worse. Chapter three is simply the word “refund” spelled…

203 more characters of gospel lie sealed

The rest of this scripture is for Zealot and above. Ascend, and the seal breaks.

Break the seal — ascend
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Choose thy license
Thou shalt receive PDF TXT (plain penance) Complimentary guilt (non-refundable)

Thou hast gazed upon this relic for 0:00. The Vestry logs this.

Indulge Now

This relic asks Zealot standing. Apply for Conversion, or ascend — the fog lifts instantly.

✦✦✦✦·

“I beheld it once and my houseplants recovered. Coincidence is a word for cowards.”

— Sister Deb, verified soul
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“Downloaded instantly. The guilt arrived even faster. Five sparkles.”

— Brother Kevin, Zealot