Convert + — the fog remains
The Book of Merch (Annotated)
First edition, second printing, third temple.
All 66 chapters on tees, totes, and tithing. Downloadable PDF with gilded margins; EPUB for the pew-bound.
For thine own screens, shrines, wallpapers, and ringtones. One soul, unlimited devices, zero resale. Sharing within thy household is tolerated; the Vestry looks away.
For works sold at a profit: merch, apps, ticketed sermons. Attribution to the First Church required in the colophon. Four times the price, four times the absolution.
Thou hast gazed upon this relic for 0:00. The Vestry logs this.
This relic asks Convert standing. Apply for Conversion, or ascend — the fog lifts instantly.
✦✦✦✦·“I beheld it once and my houseplants recovered. Coincidence is a word for cowards.”
— Sister Deb, verified soul
✦✦✦✦·“Downloaded instantly. The guilt arrived even faster. Five sparkles.”
— Brother Kevin, Zealot
