The First Church of Stupidstition
Join the Flock
Divine exchange rate$1 = 10 ✦
Fixed by decree. The rate does not float; the rate believes. No refunds, per doctrine §1.
The Widow's Mite$550 ✦
+ 1 guilt offset. Small, but the Lord keeps receipts.
Prosperity Starter$20200 ✦
+ 10% bonus smug. Our most blessed bundle.
Simony Deluxe$1001,000 ✦
+ crest flame element. Historically problematic; currently on sale.
Rapture Insurance$5005,000 ✦
+ front-row seating at the event (venue TBD, eternally).
Halos are not legal tender, securities, or salvation. The exchange window only opens inward, like certain doors. Card via Stripe · PayPal · Venmo · Crypto (render unto CoinBase).
