{"id":384,"date":"2026-07-19T10:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-07-19T10:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/sermons\/mercury-is-in-gatorade-again\/"},"modified":"2026-07-19T10:00:00","modified_gmt":"2026-07-19T10:00:00","slug":"mercury-is-in-gatorade-again","status":"publish","type":"sermon","link":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/sermons\/mercury-is-in-gatorade-again\/","title":{"rendered":"Mercury Is in Gatorade Again"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>RIGHT. SIT DOWN. The stars did not make you late.<\/p>\n<p>(This sermon is composed as an Illuminated Tract \u2014 the broadsheet renders on the front of house.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A Star-Crossed Homily on Retrograde Blame, Birth Charts, and the Outsourcing of Personal Responsibility to Gas Giants<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"template":"","testament":[70],"sermon_series":[69],"class_list":["post-384","sermon","type-sermon","status-publish","hentry","testament-ii-the-season-of-reckoning","sermon_series-sinners-in-the-hands-of-an-angry-______"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/sermon\/384","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/sermon"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/sermon"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=384"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"testament","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/testament?post=384"},{"taxonomy":"sermon_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/sermon_series?post=384"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}