{"id":96,"date":"2026-07-08T16:26:53","date_gmt":"2026-07-08T16:26:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/2026\/07\/08\/sermon-no-13-fear-the-calendar\/"},"modified":"2026-07-08T16:26:53","modified_gmt":"2026-07-08T16:26:53","slug":"sermon-no-13-fear-the-calendar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/2026\/07\/08\/sermon-no-13-fear-the-calendar\/","title":{"rendered":"Sermon No. 13: Fear the Calendar"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Beloved, there are twelve perfectly serviceable numbers before it, and yet the thirteenth insists on being an event. Hotels skip it. Airlines pretend row 13 is a myth. The number has done nothing wrong &mdash; and that, congregation, is exactly what a guilty number would do.<\/p>\n<h2>The math of menace<\/h2>\n<p>Our actuaries (a raccoon and a laminated chart) confirm that on Friday the 13th, the odds of misfortune rise by however much you fear them. This is called faith-adjusted probability, and it is not accepted by any institution, which proves the institutions are in on it.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>Fear no Friday, save the one that arrives numbered.<\/p>\n<p><cite>&mdash; The Book of Receipts, 4:04<\/cite><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Practical guidance: stay indoors, avoid ambition, and pre-emptively apologize to any black cats in your area. Should misfortune find you anyway, remember it is tax-season for the soul &mdash; and the tithe portal never closes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Twelve numbers behaved. One did not. A sermon on the only date with its own insurance premium.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":97,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":true,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[33,32,30,31],"class_list":["post-96","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-omens-portents","tag-calendars","tag-doom","tag-fridays","tag-numbers"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/96","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=96"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/96\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/97"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=96"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=96"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=96"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}