{"id":25,"date":"2026-07-06T19:44:16","date_gmt":"2026-07-06T19:44:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/events\/"},"modified":"2026-07-06T19:44:16","modified_gmt":"2026-07-06T19:44:16","slug":"events","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/events\/","title":{"rendered":"Events"},"content":{"rendered":"\t<section id=\"events\" class=\"ss-events\" data-screen-label=\"Gatherings \/ Bundle\">\n\t\t<div class=\"ss-wrap ss-events-grid\">\n\t\t\t<div data-ss-reveal>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"ss-eyebrow\">Come as you are, leave with merch<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"ss-h2\">Gatherings<\/h2>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"ss-evtlist\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"ss-evt\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"ss-evt-when\"><b>SAT<\/b><span>13:00<\/span><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div><h3>Revival &amp; Yard Sale<\/h3><p>Full-tent revival immediately followed by aggressive haggling over gently-used relics. Speaking in tongues encouraged at the register.<\/p><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"ss-evt\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"ss-evt-when\"><b>WED<\/b><span>23:59<\/span><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div><h3>Midnight Merch Vigil<\/h3><p>We light one candle every time a hoodie restocks. Bring a lighter and a credit card you don\u2019t respect.<\/p><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"ss-evt\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"ss-evt-when\"><b>SUN<\/b><span>09:00<\/span><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div><h3>Doomscroll Services<\/h3><p>Group scrolling in reverent silence until somebody, anybody, feels a single emotion. Communion crackers provided.<\/p><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<div class=\"ss-bundle\" data-ss-reveal>\n\t\t\t\t<img class=\"ss-bundle-bg\" src=\"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/wp-content\/themes\/stupidstition\/assets\/img\/splitc.png\" alt=\"\" aria-hidden=\"true\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"ss-bundle-in\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"ss-tag\">Limited indulgence<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h3><a class=\"ss-bundle-titlelink\" href=\"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/relics\/\" title=\"Behold the full bundle\">The Salvation<br>Bundle<\/a><\/h3>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Three patron relics, one (1) soul, and a complimentary plastic halo that only sort of glows in the dark. Enough grace to survive brunch.<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"ss-bundle-price\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<b>$89.00<\/b>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<s>$102.00<\/s>\t\t\t\t\t\t<em>save 13 sins<\/em>\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"ss-btn ss-btn-gold\" href=\"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/relics\/\">Bundle my sins &#43;<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/section>\n\t\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"page-templates\/sections.php","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-25","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/25","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/25\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stupidstition.wtf\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}